Untitled { Monday, March 29, 2010 * }
Im sorry but i can't take it anymore.
I meant my tears. Not u and i.
Im glad u're giving me another chance, well i guess so since u said that way and yeah it gave me a feeling of hope.
And now it all went crashing down again.
I don't want 'the end'.
If that what u think u want, im fine with it.
Well obviously im not fine with it lah.
Me and my so called 'no feelings' reactions. Bah.
I miss ya so much ya know.
Cos for the smiles u think im putting it all along, it just smiles to cover the sorrow.
I hope u'll have that sadness part in what become of us too.
U think i'll never change, i think u never trust that i'll ever change.
Good night.
I love you.
Let me ask myself then, did i ever change?
For the second pciture, crossed out Nisa and visualise Syu's face instead.
Its 3.01am in the morning. Im freaking sleepy but like my usual attempt to sleep after yawning countless time, when i hit the bed, i can't sleep. :/
Gees. Its not imsomnia, its just me thinking too much. No my brain thinking too much leading me to think, daydream as usual. :/
Anyways, im not that emo anymore. Eh wait a minute, was i emo in the first place? Naahhh no no naahhh . . emo doesn't suit me. Melancholic. Haha. Yah anyway that is, im functioning preety normal now, all sorted out , well at least for some, knowing the fact yet still not accepting. Don't understand? Nevermind. Its just me who understands it. Still yeah, yayness to me then. Its been two weeks of the two different things that had happened. Got my pay and now only 3/4 of it is left in my savings. Due to ? Idk. I didn't do any shopping lately. Its just gone like snap. Better save my money gees cos after this no more pay rolling in intan. Wakey wakey for that. :/
The world is getting smaller. People know each other. Even if u don't expect that person to know each other.
Sinful things and act may be enjoyable at times. Or its just for self entertainment. For the sake of happiness? The reason may be stupid but sometimes it just felt right. Or like i said, self entertainment.
Its 3.11 now. Dad knocking the door. Lol. Im not having 'projects' like you assumed dad. No more of that. Sigh sigh.
I know this post is about me not being able to sleep and i know i've been talking randomly for every paragraph.
Im depressed. But im smiling. Im feeling happy. Faking happy.
Oh god, i think i SHOULD sleep NOW before i blabber anymore nonsensical things.
Going off for a weekend retreat tmrw. Yay. Hmm yeah right yay.
Bye . Im sleepy. Im talking too much. Bye. For today only, im smiling honestly. =) { Saturday, March 13, 2010 * }
Hees.
Today was good.
So much better, cos .. . i get to go out. Sounds so lameeeee.
Well its good cos at least im not complaining abt being cooped up at home and doing nth rite?
Had a very good quality time and laughter with my parents alone.
Had our lunch, played bowling at CDANS together with my relatives and just walking arnd .
Hahaa.
Hmmm im just happy tday.
Thanks to my parents for making me smile.
At least for today im not feeling downcast.
Thank you my lovelies. Love you parents ! HAHA
K .
Thats all im gonna say.
I still have yet to watch Alice in Wonderland.
WTH.
And Rob's latest movie is coming out this coming thurs.
Ugh.
Well lucky my pay is in. hehs.
Kkkay. Bye.
Being cooped up at home is seriously no fun at all. NO FUN AT ALL !
Seriously, im so kaninafcukingcibai bored. Heh.
Mind my words.
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD .
IM FEELING SO USELESS RITE NOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AT HOME.
Lets see what i can do . . . Urmmmmmmm . . .
Nothing ??
WAHHHHHHHHHHH SADNESS !
So so different without u here lah hair !
KKAY BUHBYE!
I kept crying these past few days.
But yesterday, i was crying as well as freaking out like kaninafcukingcibai.
As of all u ghost readers know, my FB got the virus flu.
Tagging pictures of me and commenting it on the pics and other ppl pics as well.
Soooooooo embarassing !
I was the center of attention to everyone. In a very bad way of course.
Crying cos ppl are questioning me one by one what the hell is wrong wit my fb.
Sadness ya'know. Innocent ley. =(
Freaking out cos WHO THE HELL WILL NOT FREAK OUT IF THIS HAPPENED TO THEM
LIKE SOOOOOOO SUDDENLY ?????
When ur day was just a simple boring day and when the day coming to an end, suddenly u became the centre of attention to everyone. =__________________________=""
Spent ant 5 hours untagging those that ' i tagged' and deleting my photo albums. BOOHOOOO!
Also did a new account for myself. Until this haywire thingy of mine is recovered.
And it did ! Yayness.
Thanks for the help people.
I was worried sick for the whole entire day thinking if it had gone haywire again.
I apolagized to you people out there. Truly sorry.
Okay that crying part was yesterday story.
But for this crying part, it still on yesterday's category.
At times like this, i wish u were here. U did but . Well thanks anyway. =)
Its better to cherish it while i can.
I mean thats the only way to have u by my side.
I don't think i can. Im happy if u could.
Even if we're still in this idk what relationship, i know that its not the same as it was before.
But im still contented. It will last or it will not. I won't complain. =D
I've heard what u said. Reluctant but since i said okay.
I'll pretend im okay wit it all.
That eight letter-ed phrase i'll keep it to myself.
********
I am strong. Its like back to square one.
U gave me the chances to live up the daydreams i had once before i met u.
Thank u for that. I really do meant it. =D
Life is kinda haywire rite now.
Im so emotionally unbalanced. So frustrated wit myself.
Parents asking me questions.
Wardrobe driving me craaazyyyy.
Room gettin me all so messed up.
Face getting me worried.
Tummy getting me soooo paranoid.
Weather getting me so heaty.
Hair is making me missed.
Not that i cut my hair short or whatever.
I need my hair with the capital H by my side.
Kay.
I'll do it.
Now i have to reset eveything back to square one.
=)
** Remember all the things we wanted **
Seems like everything was okay.
But little did i realized it was not what it seems to be or what i thought it was.
Formality.
I realized the difference and today i know why.
Its sad but.
See how things work then.
Predictions and predicted.
Never predict it to be that way.
I've listen and i took actions.
But trust isn't coming my way.
Never will i guess.
Normal?
That seems preety decent but it hurts.
Predicted.
Okay.
At least i know whats coming soon.
** Now all the memories left haunted. **
And it did came. Just as predicted. Edited at 00.51am.
Nothing gonna change.
Unbalanced but i try to control these feelings im having.
Indelible moments.
Not to be forgotten. But tiramisu.
Aishiteru.
Im sorry but i can't take it anymore.
I meant my tears. Not u and i.
Im glad u're giving me another chance, well i guess so since u said that way and yeah it gave me a feeling of hope.
And now it all went crashing down again.
I don't want 'the end'.
If that what u think u want, im fine with it.
Well obviously im not fine with it lah.
Me and my so called 'no feelings' reactions. Bah.
I miss ya so much ya know.
Cos for the smiles u think im putting it all along, it just smiles to cover the sorrow.
I hope u'll have that sadness part in what become of us too.
U think i'll never change, i think u never trust that i'll ever change.
Good night.
I love you.
Let me ask myself then, did i ever change?
Labels: Im glad if u try to give me a second chance.
{ * }Hello. At time like this, the best solution for me is to doze off to wonderland. *Yawn* Im way way way too sleepy now. Still im watching youtube, downloading songs, did some yahoo search and currently blogging. Bah.
Ya'know, i should really go to Borders or MPH or any bookstore to buy some novels to read. Yeah with the 'kinda bored and lonely' life im having now, reading is the best solution besides facebooking and bla3. Talking abt novels, i just finished one. Noooooo , not the twilight series. Im bored with it already. Just patiently waiting for the movie. Ya so its the book authored by Nicholas Sparks. The last song. Miley Cyrus is actually the main reason why i've been searching for this book for months eversince i've heard of the upcoming movie heh.
Ya'know, i should really go to Borders or MPH or any bookstore to buy some novels to read. Yeah with the 'kinda bored and lonely' life im having now, reading is the best solution besides facebooking and bla3. Talking abt novels, i just finished one. Noooooo , not the twilight series. Im bored with it already. Just patiently waiting for the movie. Ya so its the book authored by Nicholas Sparks. The last song. Miley Cyrus is actually the main reason why i've been searching for this book for months eversince i've heard of the upcoming movie heh.
#1 bestselling author Nicholas Sparks's new novel is at once a compelling family drama and a heartrending tale of young love.
Seventeen year old Veronica "Ronnie" Miller's life was turned upside-down when her parents divorced and her father moved from New York City to Wilmington, North Carolina. Three years later, she remains angry and alientated from her parents, especially her father...until her mother decides it would be in everyone's best interest if she spent the summer in Wilmington with him. Ronnie's father, a former concert pianist and teacher, is living a quiet life in the beach town, immersed in creating a work of art that will become the centerpiece of a local church.
The tale that unfolds is an unforgettable story of love on many levels--first love, love between parents and children -- that demonstrates, as only a Nicholas Sparks novel can, the many ways that love can break our hearts...and heal them.
*********************
Yeap thats the book. And im done with it like yesterday. I did mention that alrdy rite? Anyway, it really have a good storyline. It made me teared to. I've no words to decribe the book cos helloooo im sleepy now. Hahaha so i shall go to sleep. Bye bye.
Ouh yeah the movie gonna be in cinema on May 13th. Hopefully i get to see it cos ya'know what, its really hard to watch movies if ur movie buddy is no longer ard. I miss him.
Yay ness { Saturday, March 27, 2010 * }
Yeap thats the book. And im done with it like yesterday. I did mention that alrdy rite? Anyway, it really have a good storyline. It made me teared to. I've no words to decribe the book cos helloooo im sleepy now. Hahaha so i shall go to sleep. Bye bye.
Ouh yeah the movie gonna be in cinema on May 13th. Hopefully i get to see it cos ya'know what, its really hard to watch movies if ur movie buddy is no longer ard. I miss him.
Its been ages since i last had a really satisfying gals day out with my bitchies happymakers. ILYBABES.
For the second pciture, crossed out Nisa and visualise Syu's face instead.
Still, its a freaking long day today. Tired ya'know ! K bye .
OUH survivor today was like wth !
Thats was so unexpected. Let me tell ya that among all my friends,
i guess im the only one watching survivor with full enthusiasm. =.=
K bye.
I can't get myself to zzzzzzzzzZZzzzz . . { Saturday, March 20, 2010 * }
Its 3.01am in the morning. Im freaking sleepy but like my usual attempt to sleep after yawning countless time, when i hit the bed, i can't sleep. :/
Gees. Its not imsomnia, its just me thinking too much. No my brain thinking too much leading me to think, daydream as usual. :/
Anyways, im not that emo anymore. Eh wait a minute, was i emo in the first place? Naahhh no no naahhh . . emo doesn't suit me. Melancholic. Haha. Yah anyway that is, im functioning preety normal now, all sorted out , well at least for some, knowing the fact yet still not accepting. Don't understand? Nevermind. Its just me who understands it. Still yeah, yayness to me then. Its been two weeks of the two different things that had happened. Got my pay and now only 3/4 of it is left in my savings. Due to ? Idk. I didn't do any shopping lately. Its just gone like snap. Better save my money gees cos after this no more pay rolling in intan. Wakey wakey for that. :/
The world is getting smaller. People know each other. Even if u don't expect that person to know each other.
Sinful things and act may be enjoyable at times. Or its just for self entertainment. For the sake of happiness? The reason may be stupid but sometimes it just felt right. Or like i said, self entertainment.
Its 3.11 now. Dad knocking the door. Lol. Im not having 'projects' like you assumed dad. No more of that. Sigh sigh.
I know this post is about me not being able to sleep and i know i've been talking randomly for every paragraph.
Im depressed. But im smiling. Im feeling happy. Faking happy.
Oh god, i think i SHOULD sleep NOW before i blabber anymore nonsensical things.
Going off for a weekend retreat tmrw. Yay. Hmm yeah right yay.
Bye . Im sleepy. Im talking too much. Bye. For today only, im smiling honestly. =) { Saturday, March 13, 2010 * }
Hees.
Today was good.
So much better, cos .. . i get to go out. Sounds so lameeeee.
Well its good cos at least im not complaining abt being cooped up at home and doing nth rite?
Had a very good quality time and laughter with my parents alone.
Had our lunch, played bowling at CDANS together with my relatives and just walking arnd .
Hahaa.
Hmmm im just happy tday.
Thanks to my parents for making me smile.
At least for today im not feeling downcast.
Thank you my lovelies. Love you parents ! HAHA
K .
Thats all im gonna say.
I still have yet to watch Alice in Wonderland.
WTH.
And Rob's latest movie is coming out this coming thurs.
Ugh.
Well lucky my pay is in. hehs.
Kkkay. Bye.
OMGaaaaaaddddddddddddd. . .
Just hope . That. Its not gonna be ' awww man. so not good . . . . ' like New Moon. Haha.
Bye bye bye bye !
What ? Im bored lah ! { Thursday, March 11, 2010 * }Being cooped up at home is seriously no fun at all. NO FUN AT ALL !
Seriously, im so kaninafcukingcibai bored. Heh.
Mind my words.
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD .
IM FEELING SO USELESS RITE NOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AT HOME.
Lets see what i can do . . . Urmmmmmmm . . .
Nothing ??
WAHHHHHHHHHHH SADNESS !
So so different without u here lah hair !
KKAY BUHBYE!
Labels: Im moving but backwords. Opps
Happiness. { Wednesday, March 10, 2010 * }
Im being such a nuisance for my own self-destruction. Does it even make sense?
I making it more difficult for myself. But thats the only way rite?
Labels: Equals to sadness.
Kelly Clarkson { Tuesday, March 9, 2010 * }Labels: This is my answer. =D
Its gonna be a long one { * }I kept crying these past few days.
But yesterday, i was crying as well as freaking out like kaninafcukingcibai.
As of all u ghost readers know, my FB got the virus flu.
Tagging pictures of me and commenting it on the pics and other ppl pics as well.
Soooooooo embarassing !
I was the center of attention to everyone. In a very bad way of course.
Crying cos ppl are questioning me one by one what the hell is wrong wit my fb.
Sadness ya'know. Innocent ley. =(
Freaking out cos WHO THE HELL WILL NOT FREAK OUT IF THIS HAPPENED TO THEM
LIKE SOOOOOOO SUDDENLY ?????
When ur day was just a simple boring day and when the day coming to an end, suddenly u became the centre of attention to everyone. =__________________________=""
Spent ant 5 hours untagging those that ' i tagged' and deleting my photo albums. BOOHOOOO!
Also did a new account for myself. Until this haywire thingy of mine is recovered.
And it did ! Yayness.
Thanks for the help people.
I was worried sick for the whole entire day thinking if it had gone haywire again.
I apolagized to you people out there. Truly sorry.
******************************************
Okay that crying part was yesterday story.
But for this crying part, it still on yesterday's category.
At times like this, i wish u were here. U did but . Well thanks anyway. =)
Its better to cherish it while i can.
I mean thats the only way to have u by my side.
I don't think i can. Im happy if u could.
Even if we're still in this idk what relationship, i know that its not the same as it was before.
But im still contented. It will last or it will not. I won't complain. =D
I've heard what u said. Reluctant but since i said okay.
I'll pretend im okay wit it all.
That eight letter-ed phrase i'll keep it to myself.
********
I am strong. Its like back to square one.
U gave me the chances to live up the daydreams i had once before i met u.
Thank u for that. I really do meant it. =D
THE END
Labels: one story., Two sides
I want my boo back. { Sunday, March 7, 2010 * }Hello hello hello !
Hi there people. Im practically bored so let me entertain myself by posting this stupid post of mine. As all u ghost readers know, these are the pictures of my newly renovated
Pet's Society rooms. My boo's room. The boo im left with now.
So the first picture was Boo's retro relax room. Very retro inspired yet still quite plain.
Not enough coins lah to buy more things to liven it up. So this second pic is also a
Not enough coins lah to buy more things to liven it up. So this second pic is also a
plain room of Boo's. Black, white and red are the base colours. Haaha.
This third pictures can be considered as Boo's kitchen. Well dining area to be exact.
Since Boo doesn't really cook even if its virtually, so kitchen equipments and appliances are not really needed.
This is Boo's bedroom. Blue is the main colour. I like this room. It still have the nursery look to
it haha. Gosh im talking crap. Dang it. If only I have that kind of window in my room.
Hehehehehe. This is my favourite room of all. I am so proud of myself after renovating
this room. Okay i've run out of craps.
Im trying to keep myself happy now. So I will and acts like im okay with it all.
Pretend there's nothing wrong. =)
Updates . . that if u wanna know or read { Saturday, March 6, 2010 * }
Life is kinda haywire rite now.
Im so emotionally unbalanced. So frustrated wit myself.
Parents asking me questions.
Wardrobe driving me craaazyyyy.
Room gettin me all so messed up.
Face getting me worried.
Tummy getting me soooo paranoid.
Weather getting me so heaty.
Hair is making me missed.
Not that i cut my hair short or whatever.
I need my hair with the capital H by my side.
Kay.
I'll do it.
Now i have to reset eveything back to square one.
=)
Labels: aftr the fourteen, eveything was fake.
{ Wednesday, March 3, 2010 * }** Remember all the things we wanted **
Seems like everything was okay.
But little did i realized it was not what it seems to be or what i thought it was.
Formality.
I realized the difference and today i know why.
Its sad but.
See how things work then.
Predictions and predicted.
Never predict it to be that way.
I've listen and i took actions.
But trust isn't coming my way.
Never will i guess.
Normal?
That seems preety decent but it hurts.
Predicted.
Okay.
At least i know whats coming soon.
** Now all the memories left haunted. **
And it did came. Just as predicted. Edited at 00.51am.
Nothing gonna change.
Unbalanced but i try to control these feelings im having.
Indelible moments.
Not to be forgotten. But tiramisu.
Aishiteru.