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Entries of a dull Saturday.. { Saturday, May 31, 2008 * }

Entry #2
I've just a finished a workout of running here and there to catch my cats. They can really be a pain in the ass. Its not that I don't wanna let them get some fresh air and play ard outside but u know cats, they are playful and quick eventhough one is fat but still one minute they are there and another minute, 'poof ' disappear. Im home alone rite now and guess i've nothing else better to do. Whuuah so pathetic! Parents went out to attend dinner and big Bro is enjoying himslef outside leaving me alone with the cats. Now I feel guilty fer not letting them out.
Haiiissh .. not basically hungry cz i've already eaten a packet of Kaya bread and a bar of chocolate. not healthy cz i've yet eaten rice except fer maybe the packet of nasi leamk for breakfast. Did i spell it correctly??? Should be completing my czwrk but naah im just too busy surfing at other sites! How marvelous of me!!
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Entry #1
God! Im hungry.. Another minute and i'll think im gonna faint! Where is dad?? im just too lazy to get my butt off the comfy chair, grab some dollars and go down to the shop just under my block.. Well then i've to suffer till dad gets home. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok just to kill time which i've been wasting since a hour ago, shall update bout the past few days at school. I've alraedy missed quite a few lessons cz im late and doesn't have the 'mood' to go to school still I went to quite Thursday's BIO lesson afterwhich followed by F&N which had been cancelled and postponed to yesterday but its worth it cz I got to see my dearest KEN! Oouh besides the other SUPERTEENS crew such as Dr Ernest Wong and Peter. Credits to them for reminding me about the importance of getting As also the benefits which I've forgotten since i've not seen them for so long. Well its just 2-3 weeks ago but still its long enough and Im not familiar with Ken's voice. Huuhhhh..

Oouh went to have a big splash at CCK Sports Complex instead since F&N had been cancelled last thurs. Too lazy to upload pics. speaking of coursework, i've still have a long way to go in completing the 40 pages work. OOhh god. Deadline by 3 JUNE which is the upcoming tuesday.
My blogskin sux too many crosses and been finding skins but lets just say its too good to be true.

hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry
Its all in day called Monday { Tuesday, May 27, 2008 * }

Yesterday was bad, fun and good. Let me explain why.

BAD
Eventhough im forcing myself not to think or talk bout my MT O LEVEL PAPER but i could not resist it and I willtype down my 'ketidakpuasan hati' or unsatisfaction ( if there is a word ) once and for all. Well its not dat bad but im just exaggerating because I know I could do better than this. Paper 2 was good and Im so glad that i've studied all the peribahasa eventhough I made a mistakes in answering one of the questions but my problems lies on Paper 1. To cot it short, i should have chose the question which is suitable fer me. Im more of the narrative writer but it didn't stop me frm attempting a question which im not familiar with due to the reason that i can't think of a 'tabiat' or habit? Huhhh.....

FUN
Watch a movie at Mur's house after school and of cz its a horror film which was not dat thrilling but it didn't stop the gals to 'aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!' here and there. Met our dear Syu with her red eye. Heee. It was fun but we're still incomplete.

GOOD
Proceed to B.Gombak to eat with fam. It was good cz all I have to do was to eat and the bills are paid by Big bro. Hey im not workin so be reasonable OK! The good part was only fer the FREE meals and the tasty Black Pepper Chicken cz dats the only food which was tasty and appetizing fer me to eat. The rest was.. Ohh not saying a word cz should be thankful cz i get to at all this food compard to those in the less developed countries.

Dats all. School hols are finally here but its not exactly schools hols fer people taking their O's this year or maybe fer the Ns. anyway need to complete my czwrk that I had abandoned fer quite a while. Opps deadline by 3rd June and still have a long way to go.
MT O LEVEL { Sunday, May 25, 2008 * }

It wouldn't make sense rite if we can't even score for our own language. Anyway I am not dat confident but I seriously don wanna a B3 fer my MT. Distiction is what im aiming for. If I could score well, then i have one subject less. All this peribahasa are crazing me out. Crazing? Watever. Hopefully there's no weird words such as mashgul ( i think dats how it is spelled ) appears in the Bina Ayat section. Oh god forbid. Hahax. Seriously. Anyway, i've been going through the previous paper we have done and .... Good luck to me and all the peeps taking their O level tmrw.
Larger font. Easier to see.. [Edited] { Saturday, May 24, 2008 * }

Gosh im tired from the running ard to catch my cats. Family aren't ard as they went out to get some fresh air since there's some sort of performances below celebarting Parent's Day. Pheww! When will the temperature decrease? Its so humid and stuffy. U know I should be on hiatus cz my exams in fact O level Mt is on Mon and i am still lazing ard. I didn't even touch a book today instead my fingers are busy typing words on the keyboard. Can't keep my hands off the PC. Don't blame me cz who was the one who put the PC inside my room in the first place huh?
Hey what am I blabbering about. I didn't logged in to post bout this. Let me start the real posting.
Have u ever have the feeling of exitement and u just can't stop smiling? Even when ur mum is by ur side, u just practically ignored her and kept saying ur admirer name out loud? Well I did and it felt good. i really like this guy but even if we meet, it was all by coincidence cz he's staying at the same block as me only 4 levels below. Well fer my gurlfriends who will be reading this post, will surely know who am I talkin about. Im not totally over him like whenever I bump to him, my mouth will not utter a word due to nervousness. I am not totally gaa gaa over him. Thats crazy ! Our 'bumping' into each other will only occur inside the lift cz thats where I usually met him. 'Sigh'. Pathetica!
When will this mini concert be over? Its so irritating.. I don't mind if they invite superstars to perform. Oh speaking of superstars, there was this indian guy who was drunk and was seeking attention frm everyone down there by dancing his ass off alone. Nobody bothered to stop him and just continue to watch the performances. It was so funny and I laughed my ass off! Totally drunk! It was only after the VIP came that a group of men stopped him but he was still palying police and thief with the men ard the court. Hahax.Basketball court I mean. Hahax..
My cats are runnung ard again! Meowing fer something. Huh.. Guess I'' be the mother chicken again running ard to fetch her chicks.. Nitex
Ouhh larger font. Easier to see anyway sometimes I myself could not read the words..
{ Thursday, May 22, 2008 * }

Sigh.. life is such a bore. My life is what I meant. When I look upon myself in the mirror, sometimes i wondered who is she? i've changed ALOT be it my apperance and character. There are advantages and disadvantages for changing who you really are u know. Hating and loving urself without no reason are so stupid. Fatuous. Alright what has all this got to do with my boredom rite? Ok lets move on.. I am still waiting fer him. When will he be right my my side when I need him? I need a shoulder to cry on and a pair of listening ears to listen to my happiness, sadness and ..... How long am I supposed to wait fer you tillu'll be right here by my side. I catch a glimpse of heaven when u're right here by my side. Alright Im being way too over dramatic! Don't want people to misunderstand my post. Hahax whats wrong with me? Just hours ago I was jumping and all smiles with joy and now I m so over dilemma or something.
The feelings and emotion I felt is inscrutable for you people to understand.
I think I know whats the reason why am I blabbering all this nonsense.
Because..
Im HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darlin Cook WON !!!! { Wednesday, May 21, 2008 * }


He won! My heart was pounding when ***** was about to reveal who is the winner. U know, my mind was thinking bout the results show since I decided to go to school. but ultimately David Cook won. Better luck Archuleta but who cares both davids are fenomenal! I sincerely apologise toyou Darling Cook for doubting ur chances of bringing home the American Idol title. Haha. Cheers to D.C!!
Ouuh yaa congrats to the Man U team for winning the league.
Im I sure?? { * }

Help! Does I stand to lose out at the end of the day if I prioritize American Idol Results show tmrw rather than going fer my MT O LEVEL INTENSIVE???? Well the answer is totally obvious.
OMG! The Finals was so good that Im neutral on both Davids. Thats what we called competitive. The results will be LIVE at 0800 am and pathetically its the time where Lil Miss Intan will be in school. Wat bad timing. Its all happening at an unsuitable time or just cut it short, inopportune.
Eventhough Darling Cook was great but I kinda have the feeling that Archuleta gonna win. Archuleta has more fans in America compared to Darling Cook. I could see the sincerity that can be clearly seen when DA was singing his songs but
Darling Cook was ok but his performance was expected.
But anyway cheers to both Davids! Im neutral at this point of time cz i like both.
I totally want to watch the results show but skipping school fer this jsut doesn't make sense. Knock knock intan..Even if I didn't get to watch it live, I'll problably know who's the winner before Channel 5 shows the encore.
Mouth of the people and technology such as the internet, news and TV.
Better stay away from all this.
Lil David or Rocker David?
The Final Showdown { * }


Baby-faced frontrunner David Archuleta will go head to head with scruffster David Cook.

But, just who will be the winning David? The 17-year-old ballad-crooning high school student or the 25-year-old born-to-rock bartender?

So, who will pull it off? If Archuleta wins it’ll be expected. He’s got the popular vote. If Cook is crowned, at least it’ll throw in an element of surprise during an otherwise humdrum season.


Blogskins frustrations? Finally ended. { * }

Finally i've chosen a new blogskin which I think be able to stick with me fer a while. Simple but I like it. Ok thats all. Bye!
Fuss and bother. { Monday, May 19, 2008 * }

I suck big time in searching for the perfect blogskin suitable fer me. Well its not that im that fussy but.. well actually I am fussy with a HUGE F. Been rummaging for blogskins since hours ago and still yet find a suitable blogskin. Yeah Im never satisfied with what I have. Huuhhhh...
Well enuf of that, it will affect my mood fer the next few hours. Ok so yesterday went to watch a movie with N** & A*** titled Congkak. Its a new horror filem from Ahmad Idham. It was thrilling alright with N** shouting. Hehee but I must say, compared to his previous movie, Jangan Pandang Belakang, eventhough the directing and storyline are way better with the experienced cast compared to amateurs oopps in JPB, it was not as scary as JPB. I just felt that way maybe bcuz once the scary part comes, I will be the first to hide my face or close my eyes.
I feel like watching Ayat Ayat Cinta once again and I will cz big Bro already bought the Cd. Yessa!
Tomorrow onwards will be Bahasa Melayu all the way. peace at last in school cz Sec 1 to 3s will be going out fer camp.
O level MT will be next week.
Oouh Selamat Pegantin Baru to Sufian frm Anugerah Skrin eventhough he has no blood relations with me but just gave him a word of congrats. Is my spelling fer pengantin correct?
It looks wierd..
Alone at home with my cats whom probably be sleeping. im bored and Im talkin crap.
Is there any skins that will be suitable fer me??
Currently Im redaing a book titled Tunfah Natijah. Im nt really sure what it means and whats the title relations to the story but its good.
Went fer a visit to my old dear WATSONS and I kinda miss working and the money of cz.
Feel like doing cashiering eventhough I've to donate every time. Sigh.
Im talkin crap.
Movies Updates { Sunday, May 18, 2008 * }

Great Movie.
Its way better than the normal Indon movies that I've seen.
This movie really shows the true meaning of love for the Islam. Pure and genuine.
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Had nothing to do yesterday so spent my time watching 3 movies in a day.
Dunia Baru the Movie
Duyung
Ayat Ayat Cinta
Stupid! Cannot upload the movie pics. Urgghh. Totally infuriating!




SUPERTEENS WORKSHOP CLOSING CEREMONY { Thursday, May 15, 2008 * }

Us with Ken. He is the one with the hot bod. Hehehe
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Laughter
Sadness
Heartwarming
Joy
Satisfaction
Realization
*********************
These feelings aare all felt during the closing ceremony. All I want to say is that it really benefited me a lot and I will make sure that SUPERTEENS workshop will remain in my mind all the time and it won't only last fer half a month. Please don't let that happen.
Eventhough this alst four days had been tiring but it was beneficial.
Only those who attend this SUPERTEEN workshop will understand what I meant.
*********************
Keep Your Promise.
What u say is what u get.
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He's Mine.. DAVID COOK { Wednesday, May 14, 2008 * }

You'll always be a part of me


I'm part of you indefinitely


Gal don't you know you can't escape me


Ouuh darling cause you'll a ways be my baby


And we'll linger on


Time can't erase the feeling this strong


Now u you're never gonna shake me


Ouuh darling cause you'll always be my baby..
Superteens Workshop Day 3 { * }

Today was the last day of the workshop and I must say I learnt a lot. Scoring an A fer every subject is that easy, it will only happen IF I believe in myself and know the steps in preparing fer the exams. when asked on what are the 10 things we wanted most in our life, I frozed fera while and started thinking. Wat do I really want in life? Even after the time to complete, Im still not able to complete my list. Ken gave us the perfect answer. It is bcuz we really have yet planned wat we really want most in our life and thats true!

10 Things that I want MOST in my life ( In random order)
  1. To obtain good grades fer mu O levels and pursuing a degree qualification
  2. To become a better person
  3. To have a better undertanding of my own life
  4. Make my parents proud
  5. To become rich, havinga successful career
  6. To marry someone I LOVE
  7. Travel around the world, Korean especially
  8. To grow taller at least 3cm
  9. To own a house of my own
  10. to be one of the manager workin in the IRs

But are all these gonna come true? Some may but some may not if I never start doing ita t the first place.

HOW TO RECEIVE YOUR HEART'S DESIRE?

  1. Be crystal clear about what U want and by what date.
  2. Write down what U really want.
  3. Keep the ned results in ur mind's eye. See if its there. (PERT Chart)
  4. Feel how you feel when that goal is achieved.
  5. Ask the Million Dollar question.
  6. Do it NOW because U are a step closer to ur goal when you do. The next step will be reveal when you are there.

There are so amny ways and skills that I need to improve on and hopefully this motivation will last long and I will remember it not bcuz of the HOT trainer but im doing it fer myself. Oouh speaking bout the trainer, he's not as handsome as he may be nut he look good and he has a damn HOT body. He's funny too. How i wish... Ok crap. David Archulenta gonna sing, chotto matte kudasai!

******************

Good complements received by him! Back to my post, do U know only 5% of the people succeed in their life becuz they have goals wheras the remaining 95% doesn't cz they don't have goal to be achieved by thema nd right now im definitely in the 95% group. What Ken said is true some people just gave up even when opportunity is right before their eyes. Like fer example, Ken went all around class chanting 'Who wants money?' fer a solid 10mins or so and even when he showed the money right before our eyes, we just stood still. Why? bcuz we're are all afraid. He did not say anything all he said was who wants the money? Get it? Eventually B****** got it eventhough its only 2 bucks but the temptation of grabbing that money could not be resisted.

I think I talked long enoug. Better continue to watch American Idol. My hubby David Cook will be singing soon. Haha. Nitex!

Superteens Workshop Day 2 { Tuesday, May 13, 2008 * }

Success is a day to day progressive realization of pre-planned, personal and worthwhile goals. It is in the moment of decision taht MY destinity is shaped.

Today well of cz besides jokes and laughter,we had a different treatment today. It was all fun and laughter until a moment when E***** suddenly went amok and shout to the whole class and I tell you itwas so sudden that I was damn shocked. At first I was asking myself wat the hell was wrong with him? But then after a an hour of shouting to us, he shared a story bout his life which made us cried well some people cried including me. Yes he was playing with our feeling. In conclusion, we all are in deep thoughts and then cried hich after the whole section we laughed. Does that make sense? No so dats it. My bro is waiting fer his turn to use the com. Haiz.. Fun, sad and... Lost fer words. Oyasuminasai!!!!
Superteens Wrokshop Day 1 { Monday, May 12, 2008 * }

I've just reached home bout 25mins ago and i'll just make short & simple.
" Its not how good you are but how good you want to be" Well the workshop was preety good not exactly as bored as what I had in mine except fer Ernest's part. Its so dull and monotonous. 12 hrs at school was unbearable but wat to do. Paid a fuckin price of $75 fer this wokshop and based on today's talk, its preety worth it. K Prison Break is starting soon about a few minutes time as ofedoze.
Been at it fer a freakin 2 hours.. Ouuh well, 3 friends camwhoring. { Sunday, May 11, 2008 * }


Hate my face.



This pic looks like Im modelling fer DARLIE? Me model?! Too short. Im just 162cm in height.ish
I was 3 cm taller..


Candid! Photographer: Yan


Ouuh aren't they compatible?
Love the cap!

This is Yan. He's FAT! No he's not my bf.

A changed of clothing cz Im not comfortable with the one Im wearing. It
appeared that my jeans are lose and my bright undies can be seen. Oops! Btw its Yan's.
He's wearin S?! Wat a joke!!!

Too much flash.

Friends since our Sec 1 yrs. 2004.


Sorry Dha.. Can only see ur sepet eyes. Heheh

Here is Raudha.

I love the cap eventhough I don't really know who does it belong to..
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Pheww! Finally the pics are all uploaded. Ouuh so here its is, half a day spent with Dha & Yan. Did some cathching up and ofcz camwhored! Went to Causeway Point to accompany Dha to buy her MUM a gift and she ended up buying her MUM a brooch after much consideration.
After which headded to Yan's place to chill as we had no where else to go.
Always lookin fer Yan when are bored. Opps!
So did some camwhoring there & here are the pics taken in no particular order. Total 50 pics taken but I just too lazy to upload all. Who wanna wait rite?
Ouuh to Dha since u already found out dat i've a blog,
which I can't figured out how, pls link me.
A silly incident that happened to me.. { * }

I wanna share a story bout me since I've nothing else better to do. I regard the incident as fatuous seriously.. Mind you, all this are in present tense.
Happened on 9 Jan 08.
Here goes the 'post' unedited.
********************
O God LIFE SUX... Im sitting here all alone outside my own flat waitin to be rescued.. Why?
Coz I don;t have my keys with me!!! So idiotic, pathetic of ME to forget my keys!!!
I've been sitting here phathetically since I maybe ard 0330 or 0315 like dat! OMG!! Its been nearly more than an hour!! Aarrgh Im so frustrated and now practically embarrassed. Why?
Cz my neighbour sa me here outside ALONE with a TP magazine looking ard aimlessly continuously looking fer ways on how to spend my time here. It was lucky its was the mother instead of the children. LOL.
My cat? He don't even understand wat I am I trying to say. ( WEll lyke duhh.. He's a cat) Its newarly 5 and im still ouside wautin fer to be rescued by Mum whom going to be home by 5 and fer god sake, I need to rush fer work!!
Now that's another problem, I was so sure today is thursday that I told my boss that I'll be late fer work cz I going to SP but wat do you know, today is wednesday.. What reason am I gonna tell her? That Im stucked outside my own house? She will definitely laughed me off!!
Ouuh Mum whre are u?? Its already 1641. Oouhh how much longer do I have to wait?!?!?!
Btw to add to the story, I did used the umbrellas to fetch my keys and ended up throwing one of the umbrella inside. OOPss. Hahax.
How SILLY of me with a capital S-I-L-L-Y of me!! BUt to think of it, its not silly cz hey Im making an effort to try ok. Gee how I wish I'll be like tha during mathx.
Never afraid to try. Haha.
Ouuh Mum, whre are you?? Its alreday 1647 to be exact.
If anyone questioned me why I didn;t try to amke a phone call, well I tried but then
I realized that the coin inserted was 5 cents instead of 10. Instead of buying something to exchanged the coins, I bought toblerone instead to have something to munch on or else i'll be bored. U can call me stupid or wat, I agreed. Btw, My HP currently is not with me so i can't reached Mum.
Gosh Om slepy.. I feel lyke calling Naing2 ( My boss's name hahax fuuny rite? She's burmese I think.) to tell that im not going fer work today.. Yeah I heard the lift! But then, where is Mum? Thats not her footsteps. It sounds different. Gosh I can make a compo out of this. My since since an hour and countless minutes ago..
IM LATE FER WORK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
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So here u go.. The moral of the story is, as u guessed it,
DO NOT FORGET TO BRING UR KEYS ALONG WHEREVER U GO!!
Ok enough of my LONG post. Rite now, thre's another work waitin fer me to clear. House chores!!
Another long post { Saturday, May 10, 2008 * }

Yes! Finally CT2 are over after 3 weeks of muggin and its done. Well its not lyke everyday I do serious muggin right? Well it did paid off not bcuz my results are good but I know dat Im workin hard compared to the previous CT1. Lets just say dat Im more serious now?
Ouuh fer the results, its ok but Im damn pissed with my Humanties. Yes I've improved by 2 grades but i still flunk and it was all my mistake. I should have read and analyse the question properly. Hmmp I chose Singapore over Norway fer god sake. Nevertheless, Im happy eventhough I kept blaming myself bcuz this time, I did studied and passing my Social Studies and receiving ' a good job' phrase from Ms S was good. It really motivates me to move on. English? So far so good. (Actually Isaac gets 15 for his english. I just kept quiet.) Well eventually I received a HUGE shock ystrday upon getting back my Malay paper. I thought I did bad fer my Malay and I almost given up but the unexpected happened and Im grateful fer the marks that I get. But still I 50/50 bout my Paper 1 bcuz I went out of point. Opps! And yup it was my owm mistake of not reading and analysing the question properly. Dumb me!
So far that's all the results I got. I just hopin dat I didn't do my maths badly as I did in CT1. Happiness aside, worrys taken with me. (Wat im I sayin?? Crap.) My science is on jeapordy. Hahax but I'll manage.
About the not talkin issue btwn me & him, I think its gettin more serious than I thought it will be. He's been giving me attitude lately and I am pistoff with dat. I thought that we're gonna be ok but things are getting a lil out of hand here. I know that we both misunderstood each other and both does not wanna give in bcuz as u can see, both are egoistic. When will he realzed that I wanna be his friend back? Ouuh yaa btw he's my freind and nothing more than dat. Please note that sentence.
Well dats it fer now. Today is Saturday and it will end in a few hours. Im stuck at home. nothing better to do than surfing the net, lazing ard watchin TV, playing with cats which practically they ignored me and eating. I've been craving fer HOT & SPICY crackers since afternoon.
Ouuh yaa. Happy Mother's Day! To mum who is always there fer me and please take ur time to understand me. I know Im different from my brothers. Jush wish that Im less temperamental at home. Hahax.
Dats all folks. Yedeeyupyupyeedeee Ok I know dats crap! Adieu.
Help! { Thursday, May 8, 2008 * }

I wanna go home! Stuck in school enduring the whole long lecture of the doing of coursework Part B.
Mugging? Halfway through.. { * }

Im supposed to be mugging fer tmrw BIO paper but eventually my mind is not focus and yup im currently blogging. Im so drowsy. My eyes are only half open.
I can't seem to understand BIO nowadays. Well actually from the beginning of the year till now, Im still clueless about wats happening. Maybe its beacuse of the change of teacher or its just my attitude. Everything are so convoluted!
Wats is all this mesophyll, palisade thingy?
I can't even remember what transpiration is fer god sake. The topics are those which I've alreday learnt last year fer example transportation, respiration
and such but I can't seem to understand these topics now.
Well I do understand but by N level standard cz currently Im studying using the N level standard so as to familiarize after which I move on to the O level standard.
Yup its kinda streneous but that's the way I study. Long-winded. But now,
I don't understand as its totally back-breaking than I thought. The topics are similar but the topics are added with a few more facts and elaboration which make me rather confused.
So many words. No wonder people says that BIO is difficult eventhough it is not if you do understand wat all these topics are about.
BIO have more words than formulas. So which one is better?
I talked a lot fer someone who is sleepy.
******
I give up. Nope not giving up on BIO of cz but Im just too sleepy
to continue. My science is totally at the verge of the F word.
Physics is another problem. Both bcuz of me not paying attention in class and
the change of teachers.
I NEED HELP!!!!
But fer now, I shall proceed to dreamland afetr I packed my things of cz.
Oouhh transpiration is the loss of water from the stomata in the leaves of the palnt to the surrounding air.
All the best! { Thursday, May 1, 2008 * }

Wish me luck for my MT Prelims tmrw. =)
{ * }

Life is such a bore. Im talkin about my life. Its so monotonous and mundane. Moments lyke this I kept thinkin about me and comparing myself with others. Its lyke Im at the bottom while the rest is on top. Sometimes I feel that Im aimless. going somewhere without any plans, just going with the flow kinda thing.

I wanna to have more friends besides my daily friends which I meet in school 5 days a week, I wanna have an improved kinda life having all that I want, going to places that I wanna go and of cz I wanna have a bf by my side. Im lonely. I wanna have a man by my side to make me happy, laugh with me and is there when i needed him. Yes I a finally admitted that im lonely. Yes I do have my circle of friends with me but dats not enuf. They may see me happy, laughing and goofing ard but there are still a part of me that they do not understand. I want LOVE. Or just a guy friend. APrt of me says that having a BF will mean no freedom and such and yes I still agree to that term but the remaining part of me says that Im lonely. The only thing that hinders me is my ownself.