Hahahahhaa !
Yes yes yes FINALLY attachment gonna end. SOON. NEXT WEEK.
BUT.
STILL FCUKISH.
Sian ya'know !
Anyways its just a week to go sooooo im fine with it.
I just need a good damn 10 to 12 hrs sleep only haha.
Life is good now.
Slightly better than usual. Not really that much unhappiness revolving ard me. Woah . So emo. Lol. Naahhh i ain't emo.
What the hell lah im so freaking broke already. I spent 493.01 bucks in 2 weeks i guess oh no its 3 weeks.
Lets see what i bought or wasted on hah.
Clothes, clothes, taxi fares and ciggs. Food ? Not really leh?
Still still still didn't buy any lingerie for myself.
I need new bras and panties.
Ouh i bough a set of panties like a month ago. Naahh need to top up.
Im talking crap lah.
I need entertainment.
Bye. { Saturday, February 20, 2010 * }
Sian . . . . . . . . . ..
U people wanna know WHY? Whats the cause?
Bah.
OF COURSE its about me lah.
My blog mah.
Got not time to talk abt other people here.
Bitching and gossiping shldn't be done online but in a clan. LOL
No relation to the previous sentence.
It seem preety easy but its easier said than done. Verbally but not physically?
Isit so hard just to be me?
Me being me?
Myself being myself?
Without people thinking that im me because of this and that.
Im just me being me being myself.
And this me is currently confused on what i myself is typing or talking abt.
U confused too?
So am i ! Me and myself !
Hhahaaahhaahaha!
Ouhya forgot something ! Oh isit forget ?
I want my fun back. That means no more work pls. I just hate looking at people dressing up on a saturday and there i am wearing my uniform, with an apron. vest and bow tie. LOL. Actually its more to that. I just want to end this. If not, everything will be ruin again. I just wish u can see what i meant and see the people whom i working with.
{ Thursday, February 18, 2010 * }
Oh pocot its near to 3 am already . Opps.
A lil to overboard with internet surfing i guess. Intan go to sleep
Apparently i've work tomorrow hahahaha at 11. ELEVEN YA'KNOW !
Until . . uhmmm 11? ELEVEN YA'KNOW !
Cialat ley . .
Nevermind two more weeks left and after then im free again whuaahahaha!
Actually supposedly attachment ends next week BUT
Heh i took A WEEK OFF . So good rite?
Crazy isit ? Nobody will let off their staffs during CNY but i managed to get it. Heh
No. Dun even wanna talked abt it. Too personal . Like LOL hahahaa
So did i get a good rest? Ya think? THINK!
Evidently im really in a good mood now. CURRENTLY.
Maybe because im not crying to sleep tonite?
Talk is cheap. Changes can either make something gd out of it or just merely bad.
In my situation, its bad.
Who's fault?
Guess guess?
She's 1.6 tall, currenly serving her attachment , she's been quite emo talking about london bridge and stuffs etc.
Guess it already?
If u guess it right, u won the chance of continuing to read this post. =.=
Anyways . . . . . .. . . . . . .
Ouh wait wait. Ive a correction to a comment i made yesterday .
If i changed, i will be happy because im changing to who i was before not someone else. Someone who for others may just think im still the same but currently im actually not. Not currently, its been months and i've still yet to be that intan. Sigh u guys won't understand what im babbling about anyways.
Damn, i stuffed myself with fast food since saturday i think? Lets see, KFC, MCD, KFC, KFC and today AYAM MASAK LEMAK! Less on the carbs but more on the chickens. Hey i do eat my veges okay ! The Kangkong Belacan at the CCK Park was simply yummy ! Oh well at least i do eat my veges even if its once in a blue moon or something. Did i tell u i ate KFC coselow too? Mind the spelling haha. Its nice when u add chilli sause to it and add a few pieces of the crispy chicken layer.
Im talking WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much now.
Cialat ! 5 hours of sleep only !!!!!! FIVE HOURS ONLY YA'KNOW !!!
Okay bye !
Thank you for today even if we had a rough start. Maybe today wasn't as perfect or according to plan to anything you and me had in plan, but i guess this simple meeting is what we need.
Labels: Finally it turned out sweet
This Dream { Sunday, February 14, 2010 * }U were out three times with someone i knew through mutual friends. 3 times. U wore red, white and black shirt. I confronted u in front of an mrt station. Confront not in a 'minah' way but saying it out like my own style, without no feelings. No feelings doesnt mean no feelings. Its just an expression. So yeah back to the dream, u denied but then i told u that girl approached me to show the pcitures taken btwn u and her. Ouh u even treated her lunch and movies three times straight.
There's a lot more to this dream.
If this dream were to become a de ja vu in the future, i'll be very happy.
I have my own reasons why.
U know what hurts the most? Fighting when we didnt even had the chance to even wish each other happy valentine day and happy anniversary. U want me to change, im trying to. Im not being sacarstic or putting up a fit or anything, im just preety much awake, can't sleep. For u i didnt, i know. Who will trust someone like me to change that easily rite. Please dun think that im happy2 typing it all out rite now, im still sad and ive broke into tears again but u wouldn't know, cos u can't see. Vice versa i see u neither and i dun feel how u feel. I get it now. Im changing.
U may think im self centred, but imagine this. If we were not gg to meet today, let me tell u this. Ive made my effort trying to be with u on this day. Taking leaves to even quitting my job. U appreciate that? I dun think so. Yes, u may say im the one who's making things complicated. Quitting my job is the riskiest thing that i ever did. No matter how good ur great are, even if ur top 15 in class, failing ur attachment will cause u the chance of moving on to h.nitec. Im expecting today, february 14. U think i dun want to mit u? I quit my job just to be with u today and u think negative abt it. One word thanks, if we are not meeting today.
U say i nvr appreciate u, well then think again.
Labels: i dun want it to come true but i wish it will.
Nurul Intan { Friday, February 12, 2010 * }I made everything so so so soooooooooo complicated.
Why the hell can't i think before doing, saying, acting or responding to something. Think.
Damn it.
Im to to to toooooooo stubborn.
And due to my own self destrruction, im kinda landing myself into a big big trouble. London Bridge { Tuesday, February 9, 2010 * }
London bridge. I called it london bridge cos london bridge is falling down, falling down . London bridge was magic at the beginning. It was superb, so stable and it was just full of happiness and one day everything changes. I can't remember why but it just felt different and london bridge was not stable. Two contractors found a solution on making it stable again but i guess the lady contractor was just freaking stubborn. They can't seem to compramise with each other. Mind my spelling. Im not one of the smart alecks in Spellcast. Back to the story, the donna just kept breaking the bricks of the bridge while the ummo was trying very hard to keep up with the donna but it seems that it just won't work. Now the ummo and the donna are taking a break from building the london bridge again.
Labels: Maybe donna isn't trying hard enough.
Complications { Monday, February 8, 2010 * }
I guess there's no denial that Ochre has made my life a lil bit more stressful, sad and and complications along the way. Im tired. From the long hours and then longer hours, dealing with complications along the way and having to have nags frm my dad about work frm my shitty pay to my long hrs. Im tired frm all these. I may seem nonchalant but im nt happy either. Yes, frm the pay, nags, long hours + longer hours and arguments. People wants me to quit and so do i but i have no choice. Given that its not for school sake, i won't be putting up with shitty pay and long hrs but i have to. Yes im playing safe but i do take risks once in a while. Once in a while only. But not now. Im really tired. Im stressed out and of course as usual nobody seems to see that cos im used to havin fake smiles. By the end of feb, im done with it. No more waiting till 14 march cos by the time march comes, i will be by myself again.
Yes i should be thanking myself for ruining everything between u and me. London bridge is crashing down. until this work is over and me changing to who i was before.
Personally, i like who i am now. But that is physically. Im much more less in a way frm my previous body heh. But, literally i consider that i have changed. Maybe not to my friends, my personally yes i agree that i have changed. Changes. This time of the previous year, im still that Intan u know. Gullible, innocent in a way and just plain nice haha but now. No im serious abt that nice thingy. Now im becoming to be more rude. Just plain rude and can't control my anger and yes im sorry to you cos im always venting it and showing it off on u.
BACK TO THE FIRST PARAGRAPH. Im doing it for my grade. I need a good grade to make it . I don't want to waste my GPA just because i failed tis industrial attachment. Of course i don't want to waste us either. Its been nearly a year and im loving it even if there's complications along the way. Even if the complications are always started by me. If thats what u want, i leave it to u. Ive ruined enuf already as far as im concerned.
I may not understand or feel the way u feel and neither can u. Im self centred.
I may consider quitting now even if it ruin it all.