D R A M A { Monday, August 17, 2009 * }
So this is the drama . .
I want to be alone. Just me. At the moment. Cause in a matter of time, i know i will need my happy-makers. At times, i feel so tired after a day of putting on fake smiles and laughter also goofyness but I want to because im used to it. I don't like others to see me cry. So if u see me cry, damn u're lucky. Its been a hard day. Really daunting. Times like this are kinda good in a way cause i realize that i can never put up with that happy-fake-go-lucky feeling for that long. People may think im just this person whom just doesn't really cares while others do, yup i get that but im just trying to become nonchalant. Can you see, i just hate being sad. And i really wish that my family can understand who i really am. But i don't think that day will come. In 50 years time, i will still have that mindset of 'my parents still don't know me' thinking. Another thing, i have my reasons for doing things. Maybe it would feel like im just making excuses, but im really not. Maybe its just coincidence. I know it happens a lot of times but honestly, i have my reasons. Im tired of facing those sarcastic jokes or comment from my dad. I tried to remain nonchalant all the time but sometimes those little things really hurts my feelings. U wouldn't know right. Cos I'll always just put on a smile or just have that whatever attitude.
So this is the drama . .
I want to be alone. Just me. At the moment. Cause in a matter of time, i know i will need my happy-makers. At times, i feel so tired after a day of putting on fake smiles and laughter also goofyness but I want to because im used to it. I don't like others to see me cry. So if u see me cry, damn u're lucky. Its been a hard day. Really daunting. Times like this are kinda good in a way cause i realize that i can never put up with that happy-fake-go-lucky feeling for that long. People may think im just this person whom just doesn't really cares while others do, yup i get that but im just trying to become nonchalant. Can you see, i just hate being sad. And i really wish that my family can understand who i really am. But i don't think that day will come. In 50 years time, i will still have that mindset of 'my parents still don't know me' thinking. Another thing, i have my reasons for doing things. Maybe it would feel like im just making excuses, but im really not. Maybe its just coincidence. I know it happens a lot of times but honestly, i have my reasons. Im tired of facing those sarcastic jokes or comment from my dad. I tried to remain nonchalant all the time but sometimes those little things really hurts my feelings. U wouldn't know right. Cos I'll always just put on a smile or just have that whatever attitude.
So the drama hopefully will not continue . .
Whats behind that smile of mine? Tears, happiness, laughter etc? Naahh ! My teeths lah ! Hahahahahaa LAME!
I know its kinda jumble up in a mess but this is my drama. Hehs.
Labels: Rough day but i recieved two Kinder Bueno today yayness love u a lot