Good luck wishes? Hmm thanks { Friday, January 9, 2009 * }
Fug. The feeling come again. Shoot i've been felling it like every night before Im going to bed, well not say every night but since wednesday. Don't jump to conclusions people. Im talking about my jitterbugs for the upcoming Monday or so called "The day". Its normal right to feel this way? Having butterflies in your stomach and having those ambivalence stucked within you? Really, god give me some tranquility. Seriously, im scared and i know that I am not the only one. Duhh thousand more people out there having the same feeling and thinking of different possibilities that may happen to our life and how our future or at least where we're gonna be , hmm let say the next month? Do you guys understand what I am talking about or in your heart, u're just saying "Ouh she's blabbering nonsense, she's nervous as if she's the only one feeling it" kinda thingy. I guess im over-reacting. The confidence is there only the ambivalence can still be felt. I promise myself, i vowed not to cry that day but if tears really came rolling on my cheecks, it may be due to happiness. Happiness, tears of joy. I know there'll be different variation of reactions which probably is the same every year. In my head, Im actually thinking bout how to answer people questions like " How did you fair for ur O? , Did you pass? and I guess the most highly anticipated question will be " Eh, how many points u get?" . How to deal with all these questions and most of all, my relatives. Relatives who are so damn 'worried' and 'care to much' about their niece's result. In my case, I have no idea how to deal with it, cause I hate it. Anyway, I recalled what somebody mentioned about what use is there to cry when u only have urself to blame and not the papers. U know what, I should pen this down on Sunday cause I guess I'll be feeling the same thing, same situation, avoiding all the negativities in my mind and just pray hard. Wishes of good luck heard so many times, words of encouragement and all, hmm does it really help? I guess maybe a little to boost that confidence level up. One of my new year resolution, have more self confidence. Yup should keep them in mind.
No. Im worried. Paranoid. I stopped for a while before typing this new paragraph. Yes im scared, and there's no way of denying it. Seriously. I did my best but was it good enough? Ultimately, I have to accept whatever results I get, I mean there's no use denying the truth right, its definitely not worth it. Right now im actually envisaging that actually day, I can see faces but vividly, duhh.
Ok should stop talking bout dat, its giving me jitterbugs. Anyways, Happy Birthday to Murni Erdayu and Hui Fang.
*********
Fug. The feeling come again. Shoot i've been felling it like every night before Im going to bed, well not say every night but since wednesday. Don't jump to conclusions people. Im talking about my jitterbugs for the upcoming Monday or so called "The day". Its normal right to feel this way? Having butterflies in your stomach and having those ambivalence stucked within you? Really, god give me some tranquility. Seriously, im scared and i know that I am not the only one. Duhh thousand more people out there having the same feeling and thinking of different possibilities that may happen to our life and how our future or at least where we're gonna be , hmm let say the next month? Do you guys understand what I am talking about or in your heart, u're just saying "Ouh she's blabbering nonsense, she's nervous as if she's the only one feeling it" kinda thingy. I guess im over-reacting. The confidence is there only the ambivalence can still be felt. I promise myself, i vowed not to cry that day but if tears really came rolling on my cheecks, it may be due to happiness. Happiness, tears of joy. I know there'll be different variation of reactions which probably is the same every year. In my head, Im actually thinking bout how to answer people questions like " How did you fair for ur O? , Did you pass? and I guess the most highly anticipated question will be " Eh, how many points u get?" . How to deal with all these questions and most of all, my relatives. Relatives who are so damn 'worried' and 'care to much' about their niece's result. In my case, I have no idea how to deal with it, cause I hate it. Anyway, I recalled what somebody mentioned about what use is there to cry when u only have urself to blame and not the papers. U know what, I should pen this down on Sunday cause I guess I'll be feeling the same thing, same situation, avoiding all the negativities in my mind and just pray hard. Wishes of good luck heard so many times, words of encouragement and all, hmm does it really help? I guess maybe a little to boost that confidence level up. One of my new year resolution, have more self confidence. Yup should keep them in mind.
No. Im worried. Paranoid. I stopped for a while before typing this new paragraph. Yes im scared, and there's no way of denying it. Seriously. I did my best but was it good enough? Ultimately, I have to accept whatever results I get, I mean there's no use denying the truth right, its definitely not worth it. Right now im actually envisaging that actually day, I can see faces but vividly, duhh.
Ok should stop talking bout dat, its giving me jitterbugs. Anyways, Happy Birthday to Murni Erdayu and Hui Fang.
*********